Ramick

ramicksatuponyourtombstonewhilemovinghishandsoverourbrokentaylor
hisshoesandcuffssoiledfromlosteffortfromspentindifferencehehadnt
dugyourgraveorcrematedyourbodieshehadntwipedyourorificesorhauled
youinawheelbarrowtoacommonerspitbuthedseenyoubreatheyourverylast
andhedseenthegleaminyoureyesdisappearascloudsinablisteringskyhed
watchedpowerbecomechagrinandfaithdevolveintoangernowhesatstaring
atthefreshmoundasifitmightgapeopenandshareapassionatesecretortwo
youmightyethavehadsomethingtosayabouttheLordgoodgoddessandherodd
wayofdoingbusinessyoumightyethavehadsomeinsightsintocravenliving
ramickadoredhiswornleathershoeslikeyoufolkmightloveyourloyaldogs
likeyouvaluedyourmaplestereoconsoleandyoucherishedyourregalclock
hedwalkedmanymilesinthoseshoestogettothismeancemeteryinthemiddle
ofsomepoorfolkshellandhedhavetowalkmanymoreinthemtoescapehisdead
pastintoadeathfuturethatsimultaneouslynobleandignominiouspassage
outofthisponderanceandintothatoblivionintothatmysteriouswhatever
hismouthtastedofgallfromnotliftingafingertowieldashoveloraprayer
tostayingsilentthroughouttheceremonytonotfeelinghismonikerssurge
ofprideintheacknowledgementofworkandhumilityintheacknowledgement
oftimeplusthegraceofthegraveandthekindnessinthekeendisappearance
hewantedtostridetothehorizonwithhismeasureofpertinaciousautonomy
buthecouldnthehadtostaywiththeotherstotrytocomprehendyourpassing
notonepassingbuttwonotonefarewellbuttwoshardsofouridenticalstone
fourcornersoutofnameorourtombscontainingfragmentsoftheonelongbox
hespatintotheweedstoprovetohimselfhecouldspitintothoseweedswhile
cearleyyelledathimtohurrywithhisgoodbyessoundingtoomuchlikesayes

ramickwalkedacrossthemotelparkinglotwiththeroomsicebucketcearley
wasthirstysohedsaidhedfetchiceandsodasforeveryonefromthemachines
outsidethenowdarkofficedarkunderthestarsandtheredneonvacancysign
exceptforourcarandseveralothersthislotwasemptyalotemptierthanthe
nightskythesodamachineonlytookcoinsnobillsnocreditcardssohestood
thereknowinghedidnthaveenoughquarterstoevengetonecansowhatwasthe
pointofgettingicehefeltsmallbutnotassmallasthestarshislightwasnt
asdistantasthoselightshegazedbackacrosstheparkinglotatourroomthe
amberlightthroughthecurtainswascomfortingtohimandheknewthatsayes
awaitedhimandthatshewasntthethirstyonethoughshehadherowntackyand
insatiablyfabricatedhungerhisdesiretofeelwantedeverybodysnatural
desiretobeunderstoodeveryonesnaturalneedtobedesiredthesethingshe
ponderedashestoodineffectualinthesoftredglowofthevacancysignthis
nightwouldntunburyyounotthatramickhadanywishforsuchtimereversals
whathewishedforweretimeaccelerationssayesforafiercenightfollowed
byflamesforhiscorporealshellgoodenoughatthisstageofhislifenoneed
forsomelongslowtediouscoasttothehospiceandnoneedforsomeexoticshe
oranyeroticfameonenightofferociousaffectionfollowedbyasilentdawn
walktothecrematoriumwouldsuithimjustfinewithperhapsonemorelisten
tovaughanwilliamsdivesandlazarusoronemoredreamoftheeternalspiral
ifhedbeenasmokerhedhavetakenthisopportunityforacigarettebuthewas
nothingmorethanadaydreamerevenonthisnightafterburyingourprevious
generationsoheconjuredashootingstarabovethemotelrooftopmadeakids
wishthatheknewwouldntcometruestrodebackacrosstheparkinglottoward
sayesandvowedtohimselftonottakethatcoldshowerafterevictingtaylor

ramickssalivameltedhispillowcasetohispillowhiswhisperwooingsayes
withoutsuccessadreamywhisperingthatcouldntshoutifitslifedepended
onitamoistsongtooacidicforpolyesterorcottonorsatinorsilkhissleep
spilledacrossourmotelroomandfloodeditwithatoxicmuseajettycurling
inuponitselfonabodyofwatertoosaltytosupportfresherlifehislessons
morethanlearnedhisfictionmorepetrifiedthanburnthisemotionsbutter
inthesunramickscornedhisdemoniccrowdevenashecourtedtheirstabbing
disavowalsonecantslumberawayalifeofdisappointmentorawakewithmore
talentthanonepossessedthenightbeforeonecantdenyoneslimitsandthen
failtoscaleonesholyescarpmentshisheadwascloggedfromthegraveyards
allergensorfromyourtokenabsencesohedrooledlikeanynongeniusdrools
andthoughhewasntasnorerthethunderdidntstirhimhewasstirredbysayes
asmorahewasstirredbysatiespatiencehewasstirredbythefactofaberfan
weheldthisramicktobeselfevidentwiththeflawsofanychallengedpolity
andthuswhilehesleptwewovehisluckintotheharmonyofcareweflippedhis
sighsontotheirbetterhalveswecleanedupafterhisshambolicspewtaylor
idoledhimonceinhistempleforthethrillofsuperimpositionandcearleys
kisswasntoneofbetrayalormockeryitwasoneofsympatheticrespectswift
asdeathandclearofyouthramickspundownthetubsdrainwithhisfilthfree
fromownershipwithhisguisefreefrommasteryheflowedtotheseastraight
toneptunesgatesandhisbluestoceanidswiththeirsalaciousdarkspotshe
clutchedthesheetsinhiswaterysleepwhiletherainscleansedtheparking
lotofitsprovincialismsandourcarofitscemeterydustourtroubledsayes
fetaledagainsthisurgeandwhenhereachedhisresolutionhisarmthrashed
cearleyslampfromthenightstandtheechoofitsinnocentfallawoketaylor

wedontknowhowtojudgeourselvesforwhatweveaccomplishedinrelationto
whatwevefailedtoaccomplishwedontknowhowtoquantifyourgenerosityon
aledgerbesideourselfishnessandwedontknowhowtomakeknowledgejoyous
withinthecontextofourwoundednarcissismwhatwedoknowisthatweresoon
deadoneandallnomatterhowmultifacetedwemightbenomattertheextentof
ourfracturingorthepurityofourcohesionwevebeensentencedtounbecome
ornotunbecomebutuncoherenomatterhowrighteousnomatterhowdissolute
yougaveuslifeanddiedasweinturngavelifeandwilldieassomeofusinturn
wontgivelifebutwillneverthelessdieweacceptsymmetryaswellasbroken
symmetryandbothmakeushappywecanprotestourfatesbutwecantalterthem
wehumrequiemsasunderourbreathcharmersonawanderingpathorwebeltout
massestofrightentheunsexedsirensthatroamthebanksofourmotherditch
ifwecantseetheforestforthetreesorhearthesymphoniesforthenotesour
chancesareslighttozerothatwellbeabletoexistastheselffortheselves
wedontassessourassetsincomparisontoourwantingsincontrasttoourdue
wefeelorIfeelorIfeltIoughttofeeldeeperIshouldfeelfulleranddeeper
thatmightbetheoddestthingbutIlldoitwithoutfailIllfeeldeepertoday
orifIdontfeeldeepertodayyoucanbetyourbottomIllfeeldeepertomorrow
whetherIriseasanalltoosappytimocracyoranalltoocynicalyounghollow
mattersnotIcouldbethosebutImanavailedselfeverontheledgeofrelapse

ramicksatatthedinercounterpickingathisfoodwhilequestioningtaylor
abouthishardfactsoflifeorhissquishyuncertaintiesorhisdreamyideas
theyactedasthoughtheywereinaworldbythemselvesasthoughtheyheldall
oftheperspectivesnecessarytomakesenseoflifethatmasculineaudacity
soprivilegedandloathsomeandconvincingaterritorialimperativeofthe
mindtaylorjustwantedtodotherightthingwhereasramickjustwantedtodo
thegreatthingandneitheroneknewhowtoaccomplishthosedesiresneither
knewhowtodomuchmorethantalkthishadbeentruesincetheiryouthsthisis
trueofmosteveryonewefloundertowardtherightthingandthegreatthings
mayaswellbedeterministicaccidentstaylordidntmisshisfolkstheywere
goneaswastohavebeenexpectedtheylikelydidsomerightthingsbutnotany
greatthingsandhewasfollowingsuitthoughhecouldntledgeranyofhisown
rightorwrongthingsiftheyexistedtheyresistedtallyinghisthingsfelt
trulyequalinscopeandresonanceanordinarylifeofbenigninconsequence
oratleastthatswhathefeltthisdaysittinginthedingydinerlisteningto
ramicksprobingbutsomewhatsmuginterrogativesasequidistantashisown
betweenrightandwrongandfarafieldofanythingthatcouldbecalledgreat
taylorhadlongwantedtogethisstintasashortordercookperhapsatadiner
likethisoneagreasyspoonofsmalllocalworthwithirascibleregularsand
theoccasionaljovialwandererormysterioustravelerhewantedtodoright
rightinfrontoftheonlyaudiencethatmatteredtheimmediacyofcheapfood
cookedandconsumedinplainviewinconjunctionwithfriendlyiftypically
shallowconversationnothinglikewhatramickwassubjectinghimtoatthis
momentramicksobsessionwithpeelingthelayersoffofideasasiftheywere
sayeswingssayesasangrymothseekingsomesortoflightthatwasntcearley

ramickdrovethecruelroadtowardlimbowithouttellingasleepingcearley
ortherestofuswherewewereheadinghedmadeuphismindtodriveustoaplace
heknewhedbewelcomeifonlytofetchwaterfromthesunlesswelltobathethe
uselessunchallengedpalefeetofphilosophersandpoetsofancientregard
gravityslopedtheroaddownwardintodogmaandthebrakessmokedofworldly
punishmentthoughwewerentventuringintoanyofthehotterroundaboutswe
couldsavethoseforanothertimearoadtripforthefutureifevertherewere
onewhatwewantednowwhatramickwantednowwastobeamongpeersevenifthey
weremorementorsthanpeersacontradictionheknewthoughhefeltsuperior
tomanyoftheminhismoredelusionalmomentsandeventhoughitmightleadto
moreexpansivehumblinginthemomentverificationofhislessernessofour
obviouslimitationsevenasaconglomerateorasynthesisoradistillation
wewerentsocratesorsapphoorwewerentimpressionistsorexpressionists
wewerentmuchmorethanadequateinourserviceormuchmorethanmediocrein
ourinsightssomeofusclaimconvincinglytobethegreatestandremainthus
evenindefeatwhilesomeofusidentifyascommonandevenafterignominious
deathsgetelevatedtostardomsomeofusplaytheorganmorelikewereatsome
carnivalthaninsomecathedralthoughwerejustaloneinsomeobsoletebarn
ramickpainstakinglydroveuscurvebystraightbyrisebyfalllowandlower
towardasphodelshadowsnowandforevermorefreefromharrowingbutittook
longertogettherethanwewantedtoimaginelongerthanourpooledpatience
wouldallowsowetoldourselvesstoriesofworldlyandspiritualsuccessto
passtheendlesstimeanthemicstoriesandrealisticstoriesandtapestric
storiesoflovelaboredforandlostormercyandgraceandluckthensuddenly
taylortookouthismemorabledesireandlaiditinthelapofastartledsayes

ramickfeltthebladepenetratetaylorsheartasheabashedlyforgavesayes
theactbeforetheactionwasfinishedhesoonfoundhimselfinadarkcistern
havingfallenfromafabulousheightpastthemidpointofanaimlessjourney
secretivewaterskepthimsaneandisolatedheshouldntbegrudgethemtheir
murkortheirboundarieshiscisternwasatanedgeofacemeteryforthosewho
hadthoughtthoughtsindependentofthefeelingworldbutwhonowsataround
feelingthoughtsfortheunthinkingsufferersandtheunfeltchoirtheywho
sangabovethecedarswithsteadyobeisanceheforeverkeptintheinbetween
ourpurgatorialcomplacencehewasntacowardandhewasntaheroandhewasnt
aguruorasainthewaslikeallofusabewilderedmuttwithoutobviousorigin
hisambitionwastocapturesomethingmorethantheruleoflightinlanguage
orthebendoftimeinunspaceddesirehislustforaccesstothesourcegothim
selfbanishedlefthimwithoverreachandunderwhelmhisliveoriginatorof
alternatingfloodsofselfderisionandselfsympathyfollowinghisstupid
leapoffaithwithoutfeathersorfuelwithoutwingspanorwitchcraftmaybe
evenwithoutfaithoratleastnottherightkindoffaithnottherightkindof
patiencenottherightkindoftrustintherustoftimeetchedintotheedgeof
hiscisternitsaidhereliessomeonewhoknewnothingofcapitalismandeven
lessaboutchristsomeonewhowasfoolenoughtoseeknoveltyinechoandwise
enoughtofindloveinrepetitionsomeonewhofellfromaplacethatappeared
highertohimthanitactuallywasandwhoswamasifdrowningwereinevitable
ramicksteepedinhisunfangedstoryandthoughtaboutlessonsdodgedhewas
surehehadnowheretogobutsidewaysonceheleftthiscemeteryheknewnight
wouldeventuallyfallheknewsayeswashistokeepheknewhecouldntprotect
taylorfromoursimplehurtandconcerteddamagebuthecouldbuffercearley

7 thoughts on “Ramick”

  1. trementinafingeredhercarlsbadandfelttheconquestridgesofherhunger
    rolltothegrandhorizonasshesatinherfavoritechairinherfavoriteroom
    byherfavoriteleveredwindowwaitingforthesteadyraintoendsoshecould
    astralprojecttoquestasrocketandridebehindhersistertoomegashewent
    inherimaginationbutshewantedtobetheretofeelthespeedandholdquesta
    byherwaistandfeelherfreedomshewantedtohearthelandmasscrackandthe
    skywhirrshewantedtoknowquestasbreastswerewarmjustaboveherclasped
    handsshewantedtomakeacandleofhersisterthenburnherthroughthenight
    inthenichoaboveyounghollowsbedsothattheredwaxwouldrundownthewall
    likethepleasureinhercavetrementinawouldceasetheworldforhersister
    floodittotheheavensorscorchittoitscorewewantwhatwewantwhenwewant
    itsheunderstoodthisbetterthanmostofthetownsfolkinstembeachshewas
    abarometerfordesireandshewashappierbecauseofitifsheweretodrownin
    thisstormsheddrownwithgustobutshecouldnttranscendherlocalweather
    asmostofuscantherspiritneededtruesunlighttoslideupontojoinquesta
    inherconvertiblecraftasunbeamtooutspeedthegleamingbulletsoshesat
    waitingfortheraintoabateandfeltthejoyoftheLordgoodgoddessherself
    thecomplexitiesofthefleshandthevigorousnuancesofsolitarylanguage
    sheappreciatedhersolotripsbutpreferredtoshareimmediacypeoplewere
    thegreatestfuneventoherinhermostfetidstateherdankesthoursshefelt
    theminhertracingsandtastedtheminhersyrupswhilstallalongadmitting
    herlogoswastaintedwiththesinsofherfathersandthepainsofhermothers
    shewasntmusicallikegaritaorethicallikemorabutherrootswereancient
    ofthesortthattwistbeneatheverypathoutofpurgatoryherwhiteknickers
    werentsilkwerentsatinbutweregriddedwiththepalestsilverofabalones
    andwiththerainpouringdownuponhersaltytrailershefeltcomfortablein
    herbrinyblurandsincehertrailersatatopaslightriseandwassurrounded
    bycottonwoodssheneversawyounghollowstruckfloatbyshewasntawitness
    tohalfthetownleavingforlowergroundshewasnttheprogenitoroftherain
    andthusfeltnoguiltwhenshelearnedwhathadtranspiredwaterandgravity
    failureandpunishmentstoryanddramaanarrativebeyondherscopethatold
    longingbyothersforanapocalypsetoldbypopulartellersofeaseshewasan
    authenticromanticrootingforpassionoverparablesherferalsapflowing
    fromhervisceratoherdreamvalleywithitsnooksandshadowsoflifeshewas
    fomentedthistrementinanotsketchedonawhiteboardnotstoryboardedfor
    profithercavernouttellinglascauxfrommajestyandmysteryandwhimsyto
    gritandgripandanimalappealsherolledhereyesuptothecheapceilingand
    againimaginedridingacrossthewidestrangewithquestalocksunhelmeted
    fullsaddlecoolsiblingaffectionacrosssharedexperiencesofimmediacy
    andintimacytrementinaadjustedherpositoninherfavoritechairnearher
    favoritewindowwithherfavoredhandguidingherintothefreshslipstream

    Like

  2. cimarronamanofcommoncowardiceandgoodnessfledgladstonespossenever
    knowinglifewouldvegonebetterforhimifhedjuststoodhisgroundanddied
    letsnotspeakofcimarronasmanbutcimarronasyouthwhenhisdisaffection
    stillheldpromiseandletsnotspeakofhiscowardicebutofhissensitivity
    orifwemustspeakofhiscowardiceletskeepitcontextualacrossalifetime
    andnotframeitinadramaticmomentorifitmustbeputintoamomentletsmake
    itatranscendentmomentletsdecoratetheliftedmomentwithtemporalspan
    cimarronsoughtintellectualunderstandingbuttookcoronasloveinstead
    asaladonahobbyhorseorayouthshootingtincansoffofastumphefelthappy
    hefeltmostlyateasewithhisenvironmentandhisplaceintheworldbutonce
    heconsidereddeathandcontemplatedlonelinesshewasadriftinsomeworld
    unrecognizabletohimbloatedwithconfusionandpersonalresponsibility
    islifeacollectionofobjectsorapoolingofideasisitaseriesoffeelings
    oracompositeofactionsapassagethroughtimebothelusiveandbefuddling
    whathethoughtwashiswaseveryonesandwhatheknewtobeeveryoneswaswhat
    mostmessedwithhimandruinedhisinteriorequationhecravedsingularity
    butearnedachiponhisshoulderthatalmostshowedonfuturewantedposters
    postersthatmoreorlessresembledallothersexceptforhisexteriorfacts
    differingfromtheexteriorfactsofotherdimeadozenoutlawsnowhuntedby
    thelikesofgladstoneandhisunsavorypossecimarronasayouthvaluedlife
    helikedwhathisbodycoulddoandthathisbrainwascapableofignoringmost
    ofwhatmakeslifeunpleasantthetypicalprivilegesofunobstructedyouth
    letsrecallhiscallowseasonsbeforehefellintoanadultviceofbreathing
    asthoughbreathingandsurvivingwerethemostimportantaspectsofliving
    cimarronrandownthealleyafterdoinghisgooddeedthinkinghemightnever
    doanotherheknewasaboythathemightnotgrowuptobethemanheoughttobehe
    mightnotgrowuptobemuchofamanatallsincetobeamanhedbeentaughtmeant
    doinggooddeedsbutthennimblyforgettingthemkeepinghishandsignorant
    ofeachothersdoingsneveracknowledginghisowngoodnessaloudyetalways
    acknowledgingthegoodnessofotherswheneverhecouldbuthisowngoodness
    mustbeputawayfromhisselfassoonaspossibleandsoherantryingtotossit
    outofhismindintotheweedsofhisalleyoutofhischestintotheworldsdirt

    Like

  3. gladstonepeeredthroughhisfieldglasslookingforevidenceofcimmarons
    existenceintheinhospitablemalpaishescannedthevolcanicmazeforlife
    orforlifeonthemovealifeheintendedtocaptureandtortureandendcolmor
    andcolfaxdozedunderagnarledcottonwoodgladstonethoughtthemcloseto
    beautyintheiruglinessandthoughmostpeoplefoundthemdisgustinghewas
    enamoredoftheirtwingrotesquenessandtheircrudeelegancetheysleptas
    dogssleepinthecoolingshadewhilehekeptwatchforthewomanheadoredthe
    thoughtofwhomkepthimawakeatnighthemustfindcimmaronbeforeshedidhe
    mustwinthishuntordietryingthelargebountymeantnothingtohimhedgive
    someofittothecolboysandwiththeresthedwoocoronaintohissuperations
    birdskeptcatchinghiseyeandstirringhiswillsoheloweredtheglasswith
    someannoyancetoeasehisheartthedaywasascorcherinalllikelihoodthat
    evilbastardcimmaronwasholedupinsomemalpaiscreviceawaitingevening
    histhoughtsofcoronastirredhiscourageandhefantasizedaboutshooting
    cimmaroninafairdrawbutheknewhedhavetoshootthecowardinthebackwhen
    thecowardranasallhuntedcowardsrunmostlikelythatshowthiswouldwind
    upendingiftheywerentfortunateenoughtostealuponhiminhisnegligence
    thusgrantinggladstonetheopportunitytotorturethefoolhourbyhourfor
    everyhourhedkeptcoronaoutofhisarmsgladstonewouldvetwirledhisdark
    moustacheifhedhadadarkmoustachebuthisunshavenfacewasspeckledwith
    blondineffectivenessashisdungcoloredeyessquintedfromunderthebrim
    ofhissweatstainedhatagainstthelatedayglarehesearchedthedryridges
    forcoronasdampformbutallwasstillandsilentexceptforthesoftsnoring
    ofcolmorandcolfaxandtheoccasionaltrillofadesertpasserineforanodd
    momenthethoughthesmelttheseabutitwasprobablyjustthesmellofhisown
    skinifitwerentthescentofhissaltycoronapassingthroughhisdaydreams
    gladstonetookouthisflaskandtookaswigoftheswillthatpassedforwater
    inthesepartstheholetheyddrawnitfromfreeofcattlebutnotofcoyotesor
    thescrawnyfoxesthatprowledthislandhemoistenedhisflakylipswithhis
    tonguetookanothersipandswirledtheliquidaroundinhismouthbeforehis
    swallowrangoutacrossthecanyonmakingcimmaronandcoronafromopposite
    endsofthefoulbasincranetheirneckstodeterminedirectionanddistance

    Like

  4. inthetomedannalsofstackedhistorywerankasinsignificantwhateverour
    localfameornationalambitionwhateverourglobalinfluencewemayaswell
    havebeenclaytonbehindthepulpitonasparsesundaymorningsubstituting
    forhiswaywardpastororspringeronabotheredsaturdayfiringhisshotgun
    intoawetmoundofdirtormaxwelldandlinghisunimpressivenepheworniece
    onhiskneeorwritersofstickypasticheorineffectualparlorpornwemight
    aswellhaveputourhandonherunfamiliarflankinasuddenmomentofawkward
    disengagementorwemightaswellhavebeenhardwhenweshouldhavebeensoft
    orsoftwhenweshouldhavebeenhardandallofourliveswevefantasizedthat
    wecouldsurvivedisasterwithoutsurvivingourselveswhichisimpossible
    orwethoughtwecouldpleaseherbeforepleasingourselveswhichwouldhave
    beenworththousandsofassortedaccoladesandmillionsofimmortaldreams
    ourinformaltalentsdontmeasureuptoourinfernalshortcomingsandthese
    dontgoawaybyinsultingorignoringthemwewontsooningratiateourselves
    toourformalabilitiessowemayaswellhavesatontimocracyskneesinaweof
    hisrankodorsandprepossessedauthorityorbeenassaultedbythecoltwins
    behindthehardwarestoreorfrolickedwithtrementinainheroldtreehouse
    werehoitytoityhoipolloiandwewontthriveinthissexyworldshurlyburly
    wemayaswellhavebeenquestabeforeshetamedherrocketandwemightaswell
    haveheardtheviolininthecelloandtheoboeinthebassoonsinceweveheard
    ournamescalledfortruancysinceweveambledofftowardpermanentabsence
    wecouldvecontendedourselvesintovalidationbuttimetarriedtooseldom
    yourenotthecoronerofstembeachnordoyouburdenatrumpetforsolemntaps
    butyoureoursaddenedcompatriotwiththeweightofalakeonyourshoulders
    withthesoundsofeverypasserinehiddeninastarlesscavernofyourspleen
    youmightaswellmakeyourselfthevillaininyourwesternsketchorthehero
    ofyourcataclysmyoumightaswellbeyourveryownlygodhavingaverybadday
    inthemarrowofourchildrenwefindtheashesofourancestorsandviceversa
    thatisifwechoosetohaveoffspringifwechoosetohaveheritageifwethink
    ofourselvesasinherentlyboundtoourspeciesortonaturaloriginsoflife
    andnotjustlinguisticsmudgesonyoursterlingsilverboxofinjuredwords
    youmaywanttoforgivethefailingsofyourfingersasquicklyasyouforgive
    thoseofyourtongueyoushouldntexpectthemindtooutthinkevolutionwhen
    itsthestuffofnightmaresandfoolishphantasmsyourbrainwilldancewith
    itsdemonsanddarlingsaslongasitsfinemachinerystaysproperlygreased
    withnourishmentoffluidsandairregardlessofitsswirloffatalconcepts
    yourideasdieasbricksthrownatstarsbutyourheldhealthkeepsyouwithus
    wereneitherherenortherebutwereevidentlyandtranslucentlysomewhere
    outoftoilandinadequacyyounghollowmadeofhimselfamanlessthanwholly
    towomenthanmenthougholdhollowssonwasnogenuinedonjuanhewasmoreofa
    johnnyappleseedthanalothariomoreofamelancholyboynextdoorthanabad
    boywithcyclonecharismahewasntgoingtoamounttomuchbuthedhavehisday
    ortwooftranscendentjoyhemightvesiredakidortwoiffatehadbeenkinder
    onedoesnthavetobecomeoldhollowtofeeloldyounghollowhadalreadybeen
    throughhisshareofroughknocksoratleastthoseoftheamericansmalltown
    theothersidenotunkindwithhistruckanddustybootsandsetjawintacthis
    stillwatersrundeepeyesdidmostoftheworkwheneverhisvoicewasquieted
    sameastheyalwayshadoncehedslippedoutofboyhoodintothoughtfulbrawn
    buthismistakeswerelegionandhisfaithwasasshakyastimocracyshandson
    sundaymorningsmorawastoogoodforhimandnoneoftheotherscouldwitness
    hisactualworthwithoutcontextwhetherprimitiveorelaborateorcentric
    younghollowwantedrationalmysteryandfantasticsensebuthisconscious
    worldcreatedcolmorandcolfaxtohangaroundhimdailyasirrationalnorms
    andproducedtimocracyashisclichefalstafftokeephimhonestandhumbled
    hismindalsodistributedabevyoflocallassesforhisheterocuriosityand
    hisqualitativecaretosatisfysomestandardsensibilitythatoptionsare
    abirthrightthereforeinsistingthatchoiceisalifelongresponsibility
    oralifelongpuzzlerifewithmoreshenanigansandhandwringingsthanluck
    thoughhewasntthetypetorushpellmellintoanycornucopiaofhumanchance
    hewasmoreaboutoutlastinganyscuffleorromporcoldshoulderwithsquint
    andgrinwithsoberinternalmemorybutwithoutexternalblameorledgering
    sohewouldnthaveheldagrudgeagainstreginaifhedknownshewasthestorms
    sourcetheprogenitorofstembeachsdemisethecausallinktohisorphaning
    everypureofspiritknightiswillingtogivehisallforhisauthenticqueen
    ifyouhaveoneinyoursmalltowngiveyourallforherthisdayuntilyourlast
    itsonlywethelivingwhowrestlewithmeaningoncedeadwehavenoneedforit

    Like

  5. omegadidntthinkofherselfasaplacebutasapersonshedidntseeherselfas
    adestinationbutasanentityofcomplicatedbitsnotthebeallorendallbut
    ofsignificantworthnonethelesstheyinandyangofouryounghollowsworld
    shecouldaseasilyhavebeenaheoratheybutnotanitandshehadtobeoffsite
    beyondhisgraspyetnotbeyondhishearingtellofnotbeyondhisdreamingid
    omegawasmorethanalocationjustasatlantiswasmorethanamythshewaited
    forherwouldbeconquerersanddevouredthemwholenoneofthemescapedonce
    shepouncedandnoblackwidowwaseversofastordeliberateordeadlyshewas
    omegaandomegawaskindenoughtobequickandquickenoughtobeunavoidable
    peoplecametoherforescapebutthereisnoescapingselfevenasmanyselves

    Like

  6. youdonthavetogoroundthebendtoknowallhasgonetoshameoverthereyoure
    nottheonetosavethemorevenimprovetheirlotthetiniestincrementyoure
    nottheirdelivereryourenoteventheirdeliverystoogetheydontclaimyou
    theywontevenacknowledgeknowingyouandtheyneedntdoitthricetogetthe
    pointacrossyoureonyourownyouvealwaysbeenonyourowninthesesolitary
    daysoffendingforselfthesebifurcatedtimesofonlytwooptionsofeither
    shamelessselfpromotionorshamethornedselfflagellationbeaprickorbe
    prickedathousandpricksyourenotheretosolvesomeshrewdcrimeofgnosis
    youreheretosufferthepatternsandprinciplesofunoriginalmisfortunes
    youdonthavetobeoverthehilltoseeyourcrashhorizontheexitgapbetween
    yourlandsandyourskywhereyouareasopposedtowhereyouwanttobeyoudont
    havetodoyourdamndesttofeelyouvemadetheeffortsomeworthwhileaction
    meanttoeffectachangeyoudonthavetobeundertheweathertosenseanendis
    nearnearenoughtosensebutnotyetnearenoughtotastenottillitscomeand
    gonenottillyourskieshavetornawayfromyourlandandyouveflownthecoop
    youdonthavetolistentothemormeorhimorheryoudonthavetolistentothem
    whoevertheyareeveniftheyreyouyouneedntlistentoanyoneatanytimenot
    whenyoureyoungandnotwhenyoureoldwhetheryourestuffedorhollowthose
    voicesinyourmindwontstoptheirprattlingwhetheryoulistenornotyouve
    yourownheartandcirculationtolistentoastheypersistintheiractivity
    butbynotlisteningyoullundoubtedlysufferthereareramificationstobe
    enduredthroughouteverystageoflifenobodyescapesthemallnobodyknows
    thesecrettoaperfectpathofpleasureawaytolivewithoutharminganybody
    withoutharmingselveswithoutharmingourobjectiveorsubjectiveworlds
    themoonshonefullonmynakedaginguglybodymylalocheziacofaluftmensch
    bodyasIlayonthedaybedgraychestedandcockslackedthinkingyouexistas
    natureoryoudontexistyouexistasnaturelikeamaggotexistsasnatureand
    likeahummingbirdexistsasnatureandlikeacephalopodexistsasnatureor
    youdontexistatallyouexistasnaturebecausethatsallthereisnatureand
    naturesshamelessandshamefulthoughtsaboutnaturethatsitrocksandsun
    andplantsandmonkeysgalaxiesandquarksandsynapsesandsurvivalnature
    isalllifeandalldeathandeverythingbetweenandbeyondIlayoldandspent
    andawfulinreflectedlightfromamortalstarandifIweretogoouttherenow
    andstripdowntomynothingnessandlieinthemoonlightonthedaybedinbare
    reposenothingwouldbeanydifferentIdexistasnatureandnatureonlyjust
    asyouexistasnatureandnatureonlyItouretteinmyheadbuttrytospareyou
    theworstofitifnotthebulkofitthoughImbutapretendertowardfilthyour
    mindoutdirtsmineevenifmineoutsparksyoursinmyimaginationoutflames
    yoursinmydaybeddaydreamswhetherImclothedorunclothedImstillnature
    IoncewasdriftwoodcoolinmiddaysteepnowImporcelaintoughonlywhenthe
    dawnfirstcurvesyourorangesonlywhenthemoonlightcutsacrossthescene
    beforethefloodwatersriseandthemuckcradlesmytrinketsoferectprayer

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  7. weconsiderourselvesstewardsoftheanimusnotofwhatsknowablebutofall
    thatsunknowablewhatstaysoutofreachwhatselusiveandevanescentandof
    mysteriousheateverythingsineachmomentandsufferingstheholiestgift
    sheandeveryshearoseaboveourshouldersarousedoutofourribssothatshe
    mightruletherangefromshygoldtobruisedpurplesothatwemightblackout
    ourrelinquishmentofstrategicconsciousnesssothatwemightdefertoher
    insteadofhimourslaginherfontherromantictrustinourdispensedenergy
    hermotherlodethrustfromwhatwaslongburiedtowhatsnowourwintergrace
    wedieasweallmustdiestrongandweakyoungandoldallatourdestinedtimes
    whetherourdeathsareselfinflictedorludicrousorheroicorbanalwepass
    intothepastandwhateverweleavebehindwillsoonenoughpassintothepast
    itdoesntmatterwhetherwefightorsubmitwithoutafightwerefatedtofade
    anddisappearwereboundtoalawthattellsuswereatourfinestinthemoment
    oneofthosemomentsisthemomentofconceptionandoneisthemomentofdeath

    Iveseenanotherworldintheskitteryshadowsofthisworldanotherworldof
    imageryandideasnotunlikethisworldandnotmuchlikethisworldaworldof
    forgettingmorethanrememberingoraworldwherememoryismoremotionthan
    restmoreflightthanlandingIveglimpsedthisworldifworlditbeasmanyve
    glimpseditintheouteredgesofchildhoodorafterbeyonddisappointments
    beyondsubsequentexpectationsbeyondwhatwetypicallythinkofasunreal
    Iveseeninthisotherworldwhatwemightcallabandonmentbutitsasakindof
    kindnessnotasakindofcrueltynotasakindofneglectitsourindependence
    weshouldntauctionoffournowforournextbutwecantstopourselveswecant
    ceasecraningourneckstoseearoundwhateverfoundationalcornerstonewe
    findourgazesoccludedbyoursisaworldofobstaclestheotherworldsoneof
    overlapsandtransparenciesofimagesfleetingandofideasaspermissible
    asbreathingIveseenthisotherworldnotinmydreamsbutintheassertionof
    lightatwintersnoonandtheplaintivemurkatsummersduskIveseenitinour
    disillusionmentsandinyouruninformativestareIvefeltitinmylanguage
    thoughmyclumpsofwordswontholdthetransportdontkeeptheideasflowing

    learnwhatyoucanandkeepmovingdonttrytocementthegodsortheirmotions
    dontanticipatetheirmotivesdontimbuethemwithagencybynegatingtheir
    crazedtheatergatherevidenceandgainempiricalconfidenceforsurvival
    stayaliveanddogoodthingsandkeepyourfingerscrossedforluckandmagic
    theseactionskeepusalignedwiththeirrepressiblewillsofourancestors
    mytimeasacatalystinthecrucibleisaboutdonemyfuelhasbeenturnedinto
    flickeringshadowsofunsteadyselfalchemyandmyexhaustionisfabricant

    hiddeninthescrubwechasethecrestedfoamwelldreamthedistantwavehome
    yourgazewontclearthesagewontcarrythechiefthroughorangegroveswont
    sticktothelighthousegroundsyousmellofwettreeIfeelliketrappedsurf
    granitebouldersgatherinourkidneyswalessothatwemightbaskinshadows
    Imnowunpurposedthusatriskwhetherskewedshorewardorlandlockedyoure
    mooredtothefragilepierinthenoiseshakencovehellinahandbasketsmoke
    underthehoodegoindrydockwewontfindanotheropportunitytosallyforth
    intoafriskyafternoonthriftstoreshodorvintagegarbedoursisntafunny
    failoursisaserioussuccesswegotthingsrightwhenthingsneededgetting
    Icouldreassureyouwepassedmusterthenyoucouldreassuremewesurpassed
    expectationsbuteitherwaywellsleepbettereitherwaywellshimmyupthat
    gratitudepolewerebirdsintheheatherwerepurecrawcoalinthetarryslag
    youscratchatthesheenwhileIkickatthescreeastheskybecomesyellowand
    whatwedesirewehavewhatwerequirewehavenotmiraculouslyjustsomewhat
    judiciouslyneithertheresultofprayerorrandomdistributionbutrather
    ourcolloquialbermagainstchaosIlldecidedlyrearrangethemoistleaves
    youcancrashtheswellintoyourcoastallofthisfornaturesnodonagoodday

    ifascolsweweretotrackourselftothefarthestlimitofthisqualityearth
    asifitwerentaperfectspherebutfarbetterwithasingularultimatewitha
    solitaryendpointahidingplacefortheagesofsuperiorrestraintwedknow
    nottotryafrontalassaultoranyassaultwhatsoeverpossiblyanabduction
    ofsomesupernaturalsubliminalsortarapturingoftheconsciousnessgone
    topraisenottherapturerbuttheactofraptureitsconditionofrisenabove
    thefraynolongerneedingtovalebetweentheknobsstillalivestillmortal
    donerunningfromlogicalevilandillogicalgoodallaloneonitsappointed
    peakazenithofarousalandalarmawaitingourmomentofpromulgatorybliss

    everythingchangesandyetnothingchangesthatsjustawaytoviewtheworld
    youreowedsomethingyouhaventgotisanotheryoureflawedbutyoureflawed
    inauniquewayisanotheryoulleventuallycomeintoyourownisevenonemore
    whateverourownperspectivalpoisonwellceaseviewingthisworldsomeday

    weoutchasewhathascomebeforeourouroborosinfinityasmentalepicycles
    roundandroundtheworldlyyardwegoseekingthemomenttoceaseallmoments
    seekingtheactthatlltransformthethingsandseekinganobjectthatlleve
    ourendourdesireforaknownlasttwilightofignorancethatsclearandpure
    gloryintheresidueevenasyouhonorthesourceandtheoriginalflawedidea
    standdownwindfromthecelebritypossealoneanddangerouslysuperfluous
    roamupwindofthesolitaryrestlessthosewhowanderinsearchofchallenge
    andcomplexitythosewhowantequalsastheirpreyifnotsuperiorsifnotthe
    caviarcreamofthecropthenewvioletthatisalmostasblackastheblackest
    mysteryofantiquitycompressedandobfuscatedbeyondanyplottablepoint
    wecanfleeourownadvancesjustaswecanfoolourownturinghorsewithinour
    mechanizedgatesourwoodenorequineorsyntheticintelligencenotmaking
    usunsafebutkeepingusunconqueredunnavigatedunlovedtooisolatedfrom
    buildingimpenetrableblocksofprivatehostwithslagsheenandstocksalt

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