Cearley

cearleydugyourgravethedepthofwetsorrowshedidntneedsweatfromsayes
inearthsaturatedfromlongrainsassheplannedtodrownyourashesinwater
colderthanhernostalgiaandsoiledwithancientbodiesourbentideasfrom
childhoodcornersourdreamssoakedwithmuddledambitionanddampfantast
sheworkedtheshovelwithferocityasifthewatermightrisetodrownhertoo
orsomevinesasserpentsmightdragherdeepundertherootsofthecemeterys
cedarssoassoonasshefeltyourholetobedeepenoughsheclimbedoutofthat
pittofetchthesimplewoodenboxesandplacethemsidebysideinthemuckand
filthshethenbeganthetaskoffillingthegravewiththebothereddirtthat
wantedreturningjustastaylorambledupfromhisstrollaroundthegrounds
togethertheyshapedandmoldedthemoundtomatchexpectationstheywanted
theirstointegratewiththeexistentaestheticofourbackwoodsgraveyard
weshouldsayyourssincethemodesthillockwasyourstoshareandrestbelow
wewouldntbeputtingourdetritusthereanytimesoonorsoweassertedinour
mindswesuspectedourcorporealdebriswouldneverinhabittheseenvirons
ourownfascinationwiththesouthnotextendingtointermentinitsoldsoil
especiallysoilsosoggythatyouwouldprobablyfeelmoreasthoughyouwere
beingpreservedinformaldehydeifbodiesorashwereallowedtofeelthings
cearleypulledoffherworkglovesandwantedtoyankoffhersweatyshirtand
soakedpantsandplungeintotheswimmingholeoutbehindthecemeterywalls
therewasntafloodinallofgodsrealhistorycapableofwashingcleantheir
taintedheritageherstainedlineageouramericanactsofmanifestdestiny
thishasallbeenthoughtbeforeandsaidbeforeandwrittenbeforebutnever
engravedonthetombstonesofourancestorswherewetraveltorememberthem
taylorstoodatthegravesitewaitingaseverfortheelitearrivaloframick

cearleyshutourmoteldoortoblockouttheworldassheturnedtotellramick
whatramickalreadyknewwhatsayesandtayloralreadyknewthatyouleftour
worldbecauseyouhadtoleaveourworldwhenyouleftourworldyoudidnthave
achoicejustaswellleavewhenwemustwhetherwethinkweveanychoiceornot
shesaidthiswithherhandonramickschestasiftofeelhisheartorblockhim
fromembracingherbutthenshefeltherownhandonherownchestasifshewere
pledgingallegiancetoaconceptshedidntunderstandtosomenotionoflife
beyondherkenthatduskyspaceforallofusinourimaginativetwilightsthe
limitsofourmentalshineherheartwaspoundingasifshedjustdugagraveon
herownorasifshewereinacascadeofinfatuationshefeltqueermoistureon
herskinthatcouldvebeensweatalongherspineortearsbetweenherbreasts
ourmotelroomwastransomcomfortablewithclassichardwareanditoffered
ambientlightviastandinglampsinthecornersbutitsbedswereboundtoget
rumpledwithfeversnodifferentthaninanyanonymoushighwayhotelwewere
boundtogetintoourusualtangledmessesjustaswewereboundtowakealmost
drownedinselffondnessaswellashalfsuffocatedbyourcoherentloathing
cearleysoughtrefugeinthebathroomwhereshecouldcloseandlockthedoor
andstareintothemirroratuswithoutselfconsciousnessshecouldthinkon
yourdeathswithoutreprisalwithoutsharinglanguageunnecessaryorsexy
shecouldsitonthecommodeandmeditateorshecoulddrawabathandsoaktill
hertoesandfingertipswrinkledkeepingthehottapatatrickletomaintain
warmthhersoulwashersoulasmuchasherbodywasherbodyshesupecteditwas
justasscarredandpockedjustasfundamentalandinconsistentjustashurt
byinattentionandflatteredbytouchbutshewasntgoingtopiddleitawayto
taylorjustasshewasntgoingtoletramickhavehiswaywiththeardentsayes

cearleywatchedtelevisionintotheweehourssheddecidedtoignoretaylor
andourstalestackofbooksthathereadunceasinglyhisintellectualworld
wastootunneledforherortooplainedithardlymattereditwasntherdesire
itwasntherskyscratchingpeaksorherquiverofstarsshethoughtinaction
tediousandreadingwasinactionsinceitwasntsocialexceptpossiblywhen
donetochildrenorperhapswhensinginginavastdreadchoirshewashermost
independentselfwhenshewasengagedwithotherfolkeveniftheywerenther
finestotherfolkshewishedtaylorwouldwatchshowswithhersinceneither
ramicknorsayeseverwouldunlessitwasjustwhatsayeswantedtowatchjust
whatsheneededtosootheherownimpatiencewhateveranyoneelsethoughtor
wantedbutthisnightcearleywasincontrolandevenaftertaylorhadturned
offhisreadinglampanddriftedawayshesatintheflickeringbluelightand
gazedatimagesastheycameandwentgazedwiththegazeofapragmaticbeauty
amasculineshewithherfemininewillherinternalstormasweareallstorms
atsomepointshefellasleepandthelightningarrivedtoputtheblueimages
intheirplacebutshedidntwakeshewasbeingdevouredbyramicksbonewords
shewasrunningdownthecatacombedcorridorsofthesoontobedeadanengine
oflifeherbarefeetslappingthecoldmarblefloorsofinevitablepassions
herbreathmakingcloudshercloudsmakingrainandherrainsfloodingtowns
acrossherentiregeographyandthosetownsshedidntdrownshescorchedher
breathmadefireandherfireslitstonesandherburningstonesfelluponour
bedinoursmallmotelroomwithitsvintagechillitscozyimpertinenceshed
cometoalterthelandscapebutlanguagewasundoinghershewasbeingundone
byasuburbanpatoisbyawisterianlavendernotofherchoosingshecriedfor
sayestocomesavehershespatbloodatthediminishedlightherspentramick

wedontseethepinnaclesofourselveswedontknowhowtowitnessthoseupper
heightsfromourbogsandfensandswamplandsourimaginationswontcarryus
therewecantbootstraporspyglassourselvesthereitsbutthegraceofluck
thatprovidesmomentsnowandagainofbolsteringclaritywhenwefeelthere
mightbeapinchofworthinusasmidgenofredemptionthatcouldliftusabove
ourmuckandmireourdailyflubsourordinaryshortcomingsourobviousevil
wedontrecognizeourstrongeststrengthsnorourweakestfailingswemight
neverknowthemarginsofourrangeortheextentofourindividualmeridians
webatheinourwallowsandnotourtarnsbecausemaybeweknowwhatfeelsgood
maybeweknowourcomfortzonesmaybeweknowwithoutdoubtourfemininemale
fromourmasculinefemaleaseasilyasweknowwithoutreserveourmasculine
malefromourfemininefemaleourinnerthisfromourouterthatourprivates
fromourpublicsoursecretsfromoursharingsourcrucialsfromournotvery
importantsandthoughourheartscanwantwhatourheadsopposeandourloins
canwantwhatourheartsopposewestilldontknowournadirsfromourzeniths
wethoughtorIthoughtorIthinkIoughttothinkbetterIshouldthinkbetter
itmightbethehardestthingbutIlldoitwithoutfailIllthinkbettertoday
orifIdontthinkbettertodayyoucanrestassuredIllthinkbettertomorrow
whetherIposeasanalltoosobertimocracyoranalltoodrunkenyounghollow
mattersnotIcouldbethosebutImasquaredselfeveronthevergeofcollapse

cearleysatattheharddinercounterwaitingforherfoodandignoringsayes
andtherestofusasthoughwewerentessentiallysheasthoughwewerentwhat
constitutedthereceptiveworldallwhowouldrespondtohermoreorlessthe
wayanyonewouldwanttoberespondedtowithrespectandalacrityevenwhile
tangledinseveredisagreementeventhenespeciallythenbutshewantedher
grievingsolitudeorherexpansiveemptinessbeforeloadinguponcarbsshe
wasmoretiredoflivingthanoflifewesympathizedbutourswasacollective
andcollectivessticktogetherthroughthickandthinanddeathandboredom
andoftenbreaktheirfastssidebysideatthecounterofagreasydiveinsome
smallsaturatedtownnearafamilycemeteryoflittleintrinsicvaluetoany
livingsoulwhodoesntknowoneormoreofthepeoplenowcommemoratedwithin
itswallsasbodiesorashesorconceptscearleysawherselfasagravedigger
naturallyorphanedbytimetypicalandunsexyanddoomedtodieherselfwhen
hertimearrivedandshedoubtedanyofuswoulddighergraveforherhowcould
wesinceassuredlyweredoomedtobeburiedinthatdarkspacewithherdarker
thanthisdinerbyalotbymorethanalotevenwerethepowertosuddenlygoout
eventhenthisdinerwouldbecomparativelycheerfulandlivelytherewould
benoeggsandpancakestowaitfornotoastandjellyandbaconnoorangeslice
ashopefulgarnishascitrusgracefromsunnyclimesthisjointwonthaveany
twistsoforangeonourplatessaidsayeswhatreyouthinkingwerenotwedont
knowenoughtotrulythinkwerejustgoingthroughsomecognitiveprocesses
becausewedontknowwhatelsetodowithlimitedinformationandweonlyever
havelimitedinformationnomatterwhoweareorwhatweredoingnomatterthe
fullextentofourcollectiveorthebreadthofourtimewhenwegotourplates
ramickglancedathisstiffbaconstripsandimmediatelygavethemtotaylor

cearleydrovethedarkroadtowardvalhallawithouttellingadozingramick
ortherestofuswherewewereheadingshedmadeuphermindtodrivesomewhere
sheknewshewasntwelcomesomeplaceshedhavetoslaytosurviveamalerealm
brokeredbytheviolenthonorofbloodsportbythosewhoknownexttonothing
ofnaturesbloodwhatflowsthroughwomenlikethickwateracrosstheplanet
bythosewhofoughtuponoccasionandthoughtitheroicasopposedtofemales
whofightdailytheirentirelivesshesteeredthecarstraighttowardglory
wepeeredintothemurkwaitingtoglimpsesomethingdefinitivewhenramick
wokenotonlywashenotupsethewasalmostchildlikeinhisdelightdeathand
honorasconceptuallywitnessedduringadarknightofouramalgamatedsoul
atonemomentheproddedcearleytospeeduptogettherefasterandatthenext
momenthetoldhertoslowdownsothatwecouldsavorthejourneythroughsome
wildenchantedmistsofnoblesufferingwherebadthingscanhappentobrave
peoplewheretheseambetweendangerandvalueistightandthegatesbetween
lossesandgainsarewideopentreesbecomeswordsandsaprunstothevatican
wedlongagopassedpoliticalexpedienceandbourgeoiscomfortandhadkept
ongoingbeyondmoorsofbewildermentthroughforestsofresponsibilities
cearleywasgoingtomakeadifferenceevenifshehadtodoitsilentlyinfake
woodsandwewerealongfortheridethereslifeinourpainandtheresdeathin
oureasetheresbloodinourplansandtheresairinourhumilitywefindaspot
tostandourgroundandfightourlastlosingbattletoitsgloriousendwesaw
ourselvesinourenemyandasourenemycearleydroveusfartherintoourfear
wefeltsuperblyaliveandthoughsheknewshewasntincontroloftheworldor
itsviolenceshethoughtshecouldhandleanythingbutshestillgaspedwhen
sayestookouthersharpenedbladeandthrustitdeepundertheribsoftaylor

cearleyflewoutofthecarwindowoverthecemeterycedarsforgivingtaylor
asshelandedinheropengravethatsheddugherselfonlymomentsbeforeshed
feltthethrillofdisappearanceofnonbeingwhilestillbeingourtimeless
parlortrickasconsciousnessshelayinherselfdugpitgratefulforeffort
andcessationandforthestunninglocalorglobalfloodshefeltinherbones
wasinevitablycomingtocarryherawayaprivatefloodshemightaswellhave
causedherselfspitandtearsandsnottearsacrossanylifetimeoflaughter
andconfusionandanguishandboredomandsorrowshegatheredhercloudsand
formedastormtodrownherselfortogiveherselfbacktotheseawemournwhat
weloseinlifefeelingourotherselvesasphantomlimbswealsomournwhatwe
haventhadwhatwasneverourstoloseallofthatundeterminedpotentialour
longsufferingperpetualparallelsandourlongforgottenperpendiculars
shefollowedyoubecauseyoucouldntnotbefollowedbecausefollowingisin
ourdnaweflyandfallasyouflewandfellwellunrestineverlastingentropy
thisisourstodowithindailyassurancethiscemeterybelongstoeverybody
aseverycemeterybelongstoeveryonetalismansforthebiggestchampionof
lifethatdearestpostscripttothedearestoflovesnotanyparticularlife
butalloflifefromtheveryoriginalnotionofwhatcouldlooklikedesigned
fireworkswhatcouldlooklikeunimaginableaccidentwhatsrecordedinthe
expansionoflightorwhatshowsintheseeyesofimpregnableconsciousness
cearleytriedtopeerthroughtheskyatsomethingshewasntevergoingtosee
somethingnoneofuswillwitnessnotintheneartimeanddeargodwedontseem
toknowanythingaboutthefartimeherheartpoundedhereyeswateredshewas
gladtobealiveinherselfdecoratedholeinourgoodearthshethoughtmaybe
ramickcouldlearntobesatisfiedwithherversionoftheworldandnotsayes

7 thoughts on “Cearley”

  1. garitahadhungherlaundryinthesunearlierinthedaybutnowarisingstorm
    foundherscramblingtogettheclothesoffthelinebeforethedelugecanted
    intoactionwithtorrentsandgalessufficienttodivorcehousesfromtheir
    foundationsthoughsuchextremitiesoflosswerentyetinherbrainshejust
    didntwantherearlierworkundoneifherdrygarmentsweretogetresoakedor
    blownoffontomuddygroundourrotatingrealmsofthebanalandthepathetic
    oursolipsisticexperiencesofbathosandpathosourfailurestotranscend
    garitagatheredtheclothesinherarmsthinkingthatwaswhatmostmattered
    inthatmomentbutnoteveninfictioncanweknowwhatmattersmostinamoment
    shehadjustthrownthemontothecouchinpreparationtofoldthemwhenyoung
    hollowsliddownherchimneytobringhergiftsbuthelookedbothflushedand
    palefromtheeffortagainstthesurprisingvigorofthesuddenstormandhed
    forgottenthegiftsinhistruckhesatforlornintheoldashofbygoneflames
    asthewindsbegantobatterthisstructurewheregaritaabidedandsuffered
    shethoughttoinsistthatheleaveimmediatelybutthetorrentshadbegunin
    earnestandthehowlinggalemademostanywarmbloodedcompanywelcomeeven
    thatofamanshecouldnolongerbearshedraggedhimintotheroomandshutthe
    fluebehindhimthenshecouldntstopherselffromkickinghimseveraltimes
    wherehelayandthoughhershoutedwordstohimabovethebansheewailwerent
    kindhetookitallwithoutprotestseeingheagainfoundhimselfinthewrong
    placeatthewrongtimeanditwasnobodysfaultbuthisowngaritastoodabove
    himlookinglikeanavengingangelhegrabbedheranklewhentheroofblewoff
    andthreatenedtocarryherawaytheweightoftwobeingjustenoughmorethan
    theinsufficientweightofonegaritarememberedtheweightofyounghollow
    uponheronthebenchseatofhistruckatthedriveinearlierintheirlivesas
    theynowsoughthistrucktogetoutoftherainsinceherbasementwasalready
    floodedandtheysattogetherinsilenceashistruckfloatedaroundthetown
    ofstembeachreminiscingintheirindividualmemoriessaboutthemanyways
    tofailinlifeasacoupleandasasolitarysoulandasasocietyhergiftswere
    inthebedofthetruckandsheglancedbackandwatchedastheyflewintospace
    wegivethingstoeachotherintimesofcrisislikeshardsoflightandforget
    aboutthemafterdeathcarriesusawayorevenbeforewhenlifegetstooweird
    garitathoughtaboutherlaundryandwonderedwhereherordinarydayhadgot
    toandwhetherherfriendswereprovidedforinyounghollowsconsciousness
    whethershecouldtrustthenormalperspectiveofselfhoodorwhetheryoung
    hollowsomehowconsideredhismindaworthysubstitutefortheLordherself
    theLordgoodgoddesswhowatchesoverallcreaturesoffemininepersuasion
    younghollowsteeredhistruckasheshouldashipdodginghousesasicebergs
    andfencesasreefswhilehetoldherthestoriesofwhenhisfatheroldhollow
    diedinhisarmsandwhenhisuncletimocracythetowndrunkprayedforreturn
    andwassentbacktochildhoodtotakeanothercrackatcomfortinhisownskin

    Like

  2. timocracywasthefirstintowntodrownwhichwasveryfittingsincehedbeen
    drowninginfrontofusforyearsbutinthemomentsittookforhimtoprogress
    wesuspecthethoughtthoughtsaswesuspectmostpeoplethinkthoughtswhen
    theyredyingorareabouttodiesoperhapswellbeexcusedorifnotexcusedat
    leastforgivenforextrapolatingfromthewordshesaidtousacrossourtime
    togetherinstembeachinordertoprovideyouwithimaginativeaccesstohis
    singularmindthoughweconfessouropinionthatallmindsareassingularas
    theyarecollectiveyoursandoursandcolfaxsandcolmorsandtimocracyswe
    wouldgiveyoueverythoughteverthoughtbyanyoneifwecouldbutthatmight
    provetoocumbersomeagiftanywaytimocracylikelysufferedasmostanyone
    whodrownssuffersbuthislastthoughtswerentaboutsufferingordrowning
    theywereabouthowyoudontknowwhatlifesgoingtodowithyouuntilitsdone
    doingitandthenitstoolatefortrustworthyanalyticalcalibrationsdone
    overtimesincethereisnotimeornotenoughtimeforthatbraintrickanyway
    youliveyourlifenotknowingwhetheritsbeenofanyworthwhetheritsgiven
    positivevaluebackintotheworldornegativevalueorzerovalueyouponder
    thesemattersacrossanormallifetimebutyouhavetoolittletimeattheend
    todistillitallintoaproperclaritysothattheconfusionatdeathmirrors
    thebewildermentatbirthnaturalrealityenjoysflirtingwithsymmetryby
    rubbingupagainstitbutwillneverconsummatetherelationshipsothought
    timocracythoughweadmitweparaphrasedhimpoorlyweputmoreorderintoit
    thanhismindwouldhaveandwetookoutthenonsensicalflourishesthatused
    toflowfromhismouthhewouldhaveundoubtedlyspokenthesethoughtsaloud
    withmorefamiliaritytowardyouwithyourquirksandqualitiesconsidered
    inhisapproachtohisparticularaudiencehewouldhavespokenasthoughyou
    andyourthoughtsmatteredthoughhewouldnthavegivenyouanyopportunity
    torespondandifwhileinstembeachyouhadwishedtoavoidhiswordsoravoid
    hisoddcompanyyoushouldhaveneverlistenedtohimspeakinthefirstplace
    theclicheofcaptiveaudienceisseldomtechnicallyaccuratebutifyouhad
    triedtoescapetimocracyafterlisteningtohimoncehewouldhaveinfected
    yourmindsufficientlytohavemadethatimpossibletheproverbialdemonor
    angelonyourshouldermellifluouslyseducingyoustraightintoyourbrain
    thoughtimocracywasmoreofanentertainerthanaseducermoreofalostsoul
    thanaprophetmoreofadrunkthananentertainerandhislastthoughtsmight
    havereflectedthathislastthoughtsshouldhavebeenbothfunnyandtragic
    withordinarymiseryatthecrossroadsandhisbrandoflyricisminthetrees
    timocracythoughtaboutyouandyourpenchantforselfcriticismunnatural
    andnormalselfdefeatingandselfimprovingoutrageousandpragmatically
    soundtheassessinggazeturnedinwardandsharpenedasadestructivestare
    youreaspeckofuniversalnonsensetimocracythoughtyoureagenusofchaos
    yourangefromalphatonowherewhileyoumeltyouricewithyourtemperature

    Like

  3. maytheLordgoodgoddesssteepyouinherdarkwaterstillyoucolorintolife
    andmayshetestyoumomentbymomenttillyouescapeoutoflifeintoprogress
    itisntaboutyourmanufactureitsaboutwhatyouabsorbofthisworlditisnt
    yourpedigreeorfortitudeorluckthatgetsyououtitsjustyourexitticket
    maytheLordgoodgoddessgrantyouenoughpasturelandpluscompadresofall
    brandstoallowyoutobeyourselftostrayorfrolicorcongregateasyouwish
    itisntaboutyourfoundationorstructureormaterialsitsaboutyourspace
    itsnotthesparkleinyoureyeorthecutofyourjiborthecurlofyourhornits
    notyourprayersitsthegapsinyourconsciousnessandtherangeofyourgasp
    maytheLordgoodgoddessneverlistentousagainnotnownoteverifeveronce
    thennevertwiceshemusthavebetterthingstodoifdoingiswhatshenowdoes
    ifdoingiswhatsheseverdoneifdoingisevendoableinamutablemultiverse
    whereeverythingpossibleisalreadypositedisalreadybookedandindexed
    whereallknowntoheriswhatcanbeknownwheretherecanbenothingneworits
    semanticsofthespecialsortourspeciesbuilttobescribesforherfailure
    torecordherdramaticyetnaivestillmarvelousefforttoundotheeverbeen
    maytheLordgoodgoddessparadoxourstasisintoprogresslikeataoistbabe
    orahindustudmayshemelodyourrhythmandmarchoursleepmayshenegotiate
    ourreleaseevenasshesupervisesourexecutionyoucantcircumventherwhy
    eventryshellgraspyouinyourascendancyandshellclaspyouinyourdemise
    shellclutchyouwhenyoureferalshellshameyouwhenyourefetalshellbang
    youinthebrothelsandshunyouinthehallsofjusticeshellwipeyourfouled
    mouthafteryoublowanothermanifestointothecrowdshellforgiveyourbad
    languagesincealllanguagereeksofbadapplesandwildmisrepresentation
    oratbestitsabitofmishandabitofmashconcoctedtosustainthetoothless
    maytheLordgoodgoddessspareyouextensivecommentaryonyourweaknesses
    mayshelikewiseshieldyoufromobsequiouspanderingsuponyourstrengths
    youmightfleetheclubforthedesertbutyoucantfleetheadultforthechild

    Like

  4. gallinafromthenexttownoverhadheardofyounghollowandsoughthimoutas
    herodhadsoughtthefabledmessiahasgladstonesoughtcimarroninthehard
    wastesofyounghollowsboyhoodfantasygallinawasatomboyparexcellence
    withafeverforlifeandabodytoaccomplishsoshepulledhercousinreginas
    purpleandgoldlameknickersoverherfreckledkneesandthighswellbefore
    shedonnedhergraytshirtandoverallshortstogohollowhuntingasherstep
    aunthaddonewellbeforeherbutfatehadadifferentconceptforherdaywhen
    theskiesunleashedtheirfuryuponallthefictionofthisworldandgallina
    wascaughtbetweendesireandinterruptionbetweendramaandfunctionthis
    wouldbeherlastdayasacharacterinouremotionalunfoldinginourprivate
    cartographyshewasntboundtoperishshewasboundtorideafierychariotas
    awillowyelijahstraightthroughthetorrentsandlightningjagsintosome
    heavenlymansionsetasideforherbyyounghollowsrestlessimaginationhe
    wantedherfreefromnostalgiabuthecouldnthaveherthushecouldonlyhave
    herasaprojectedconstructonaconflictedsheethungintheyardinadeadly
    galeaflickeringandbillowingimageofirresolvableresolveatakeonmora
    butwithenoughpluckinherattitudetoridewithharshaplombalongsidehis
    feignedindependencethoughhedforgivehisfemininecompadresalmostany
    indescretionalmostanybetrayalorweaknessexceptparanoicjealousyhis
    fearofthecorralforbadeitevenifhewasascorralledinhislifeasanybody
    gallinaclimbedintoherrustyelcaminoanddrovetowardstembeachwithher
    brunettefuryhidinghercreamintentshewassettobreakoldhollowssonand
    todosowithoutsheherselfhavingtobreakasweatafriskysongplayedonthe
    radioandshewassingingalongwithoutshamewhenthefalsesunwassuddenly
    occludedbycloudsdarkerthanherbrowsandtheskiesopenedupandreleased
    younghollowsseasonsofunspenttearsshepulledoverontohisbadshoulder
    therethefleshwasbaredtohurttowrestthedamagecleantherethesolitude
    washonedtooutpauseanyferocityofattentionanylackofpresencechanged
    shefelthiminherhairandshefelthiminhersalivatheswiftwaterrosewith
    hisformalstrengthbutsheremainedabuoyinthebreachtetheredtohispost
    hertimetowonderbroughtwithitanopportunitytounknowherpurposeandto
    restructureherlotshecouldheroherselfintoloreshecouldsequesterher
    heartasstainlesssteelimpervioustodullingmarthoughshecouldntuntie
    herstepauntfromhermatrimonialpastormetamorphosizeintotheLordgood
    goddessherselfsinceshecouldntstopthefloodwatersfromengulfingstem
    beachandshecouldnttameyounghollowswanderlustshecouldnevertheless
    transcendthecalamitousstormviathegraceofouryounghollowsmercurial
    whimviathereachofhisparticularmullandmuseandyearnthatwillingness
    ofhistoraisehisfabricationsoutoffleshintobreathandpastbreathinto
    mythandbeyondmythintolivingideasothathecouldrendezvouswiththeone
    ofhischoosingunderthegablesofthewildestatticinhisfakewesternhome

    Like

  5. whattimocracysaidtoyouhewantedtosaytoeveryonethatunknowingisokay
    thatundyingisntanoptionthatthedreamtmindisabrightlylitpanopticon
    hewantedtosaythatinthehardmorninglightinourconcreteworldyourebut
    adoeroftasksbutinthedarknightofthesoulyoureapurefeelingintellect
    notjustacashieratsomehardwarestoreoramentallysoberdrunkatnoonbut
    itsnotasifwhatyouwanthasntbeenwantedbyothersisntwantedbyothersor
    wontbewantedbyotherswhatyouwantarewantablemomentsthatsundeniable
    ifyoureoneofthestarstheylltellyouyoureworthdozensofextrasifyoure
    oneoftheextrastheyllsteeryoutowardcharacteractingifyoureoneofthe
    crewtheyllworkyouhardinthemagichoursimulacrumsoflivesworthliving
    youhaventliveduntilyouvediedhesaidIdbewillingtobetourlivesonthat
    somewheresomethingisthrivingandsomedayitllmeansomethingtosomeone
    meaningismoremutationthanvirusmoreprivatemustthancollectivemaybe
    evenifweconquerourdreadofdeathwellneverconquerourdreadofeverlife
    whattimocracysaidtoyouhewantedtosaytoeveryonethatmemoryfailstime
    andtimefailslovewedontgetavictorydancewegetourcuratedassessments
    ofinadequacyandsurpriseworthwegetconsolationprizesofdesireandtry
    whattimocracysaidtoyouhewantedtosaytoeveryonethattruthisrelative
    oratleastasrelativeasuntruthatleastasimpossibleasmortaljudgement
    orasimpossibletoregimentasevolvinglanguageweuseitandweabuseitand
    wefollowitinandoutofourwildernessinandoutofoursettlementinandout
    ofourstoriedreductionsofjudgmentwhendisappearanceisabsenceinloss
    ourforceofresultantcomingtogetherthevelocityofpassiontowardbirth
    timocracysitsinthepassengerseatofyourtruckorelcaminogrinningfrom
    eartoearandthenscowlingandthenwheezingaviciouslaughheisntcleanof
    clothesorpoliticallytidyandhesmellsvaguelyofwhiskeydickasifhesaw
    impotenceonthehorizonasifitseepedfromhisintuitionhisuniversityof
    suppositionandanalysishiswisdomisntquantifiableneitherishismirth
    neitherarehissorroworhisblatherheisntyoubutheisntnotyoueitherhis
    weightisntyourweightandthecolorofhishairisntthecolorofyoursbuthe
    knowsyourindiscretionsandyourfrettingsheknowsyouraspirationsgone

    Like

  6. coronacouldhumdebussysreverieinyourearneartosleepandyoujustmight
    mistakeitforravelspavaneforadeadprincessyoujustmightmuseuponyour
    dyingasthoughitwereimminentjustaroundtheverynextmomentandnotjust
    aroundthatnextcornerwhereyouhavenointentionofgoingifyoucanresist
    theurgebutnolackofurgecanspareyoufromtheverynextmomentcoronaorno
    coronafairygodmotherordestructiveangelfavoritefriendorworstlover
    nothingcansaveyoufromtheverynextmomentthatsalreadyrightuponyouas
    youliveandbreatheasyouliveandwonderdoyourememberthatwinterdayyou
    rodealonewithcoronaonthemonorailthroughthematterhorntheskieswere
    thecolorofdisappearingeyesyouwerehardintosolitudeandthemonorails
    seatswerebrandnewandsleekandthechromeandsteelshoneasiffortheages
    eventhatdaywithcoronathattunnelthroughthematterhornthatsilentmix
    oftomorrowandyesterdaycouldntlongrelieveyourexistentialnauseathe
    senseofkeenlosswhennothingsbeenlostwhennospaceexistswhereabsence
    hasfullyreplacedonceknownpresencebutitwasashimmerdaynevertheless
    acoronadaybeforewhitewentgoodriddanceoverthehorizonwhenmasculine
    yellowbecamefemininegoldwhenthematterhornssnowagainsttheskymeant
    theLordgoodgoddessherselfwaswatchingoveryourswiftpassagefromwest
    toeastandfromnorthtosouthandfromheretoanywherewithcoronaastender
    companionbackinhercarefreetimesbeforecimarronsbehaviorwentwicked
    theleatheroftheseatswascobaltandcreamlikecoronasgazebeforeshewas
    asblackasaclevercrowasthedeepestpupilasaholewhereenergygoestodie
    beforeshewentfromclassicseraphimtoghettodiamondtorangelanddiadem
    onessteedcantascendmountainswithstonefacesofdoubtandunacceptance
    onesmonorailseeksthecoresofneutralityorofinextinguishablekinship
    onelendsonesrockettoonesothersothatonesothercanescapetosomeomega
    coronatookyourhandandplaceditonherthighwarmfromherwindowsunlight
    sheneededyoutoseethathumansituationsseldomneedtoprogresstomatter
    orsoyouthoughtsinceyoudneverbeenabletograspwhethercoronahadneeds
    orwhatshemightbethinkingorwhenshemightpoproundnextorwhenshemight
    humsomethingtoyouthatwasmoretonethanlullabymoretrancethanreverie
    coronawillcometoyouwhenshecomestoyoumalpaisormatterhornortorrent
    yourmonorailwillroundabendpastcascadesandskyliftsandthereshellbe
    timocracywasntcoronaandcoronawasnttimocracyandwhetheryounghollow
    oryouproducedthemneitherofyoucouldcontroltheircomingsandgoingswe
    acceptthisastruthastrueasthefactthattheresnogodwhocouldvekeptthe
    pesticideoutoftheconfectionsthataccidentallykilleddozensinaplace
    farawayfromherebutnotsofarawaythatourgodifwehadagodcouldnthavein
    hersparetimepreventedtheuneducatedandmortifiedworkeratthatfamily
    candybuisnessfrommakinghisfatalmistakehisworstmistakeamongmanyin
    alifenotentirelyunlikeourssothatwhenthemanboughtthecandytotaketo
    thepartycelebratinginallinnocencehisnephewsbirthsixofhisbrothers
    andtwoofhissistersandseveraloftheirchildrenandmanyotherneighbors
    wouldnthavediedatleastnotfromeatingcandyonthatverytragicoccasion
    timocracymighthavespokenofthesublimefacetsoftragedywhereascorona
    mighthavesmoothedthefurrowsfromyourbrowbutneithercouldhaveundone
    thedeedorsavedasinglechildfromhisorherearlyexitfromourawfulplane
    wecantdistanceourselvesfromourowndeathsorthoseofourmostlovedones
    butwecanletthenewsofelsewherelossstayelsewhereandleaveusallalone

    Like

  7. coronadidntneedpardoningnotbeyondthisplanetsstratospherenotinits
    moltencorenotinoursmallwearyheartsmaybeifshedbrokenacosmiclawbut
    theyreunbreakablemaybeifshedviolatedthechainofbeingbutthatcantbe
    violatedmaybeifshedupsettheapplecartbutthenagaintheyrejustapples
    inanycaseshedhavedoneitoutoflovefortheunknowableotheroutofasense
    oftemporalattractiononaninfiniteplaneshedhavedoneitforourundying
    futuresifsuchexistedcoronadoubtedtimesendurancebutnotitsefficacy
    wearentgettinganywheresincethereisntanywheretogetcertainlynotasa
    speciesandcertainlynotasatwinpulsarandperhapsnotevenasahumansoul
    ifsuchexistedinourfictionspastorifsuchexistinourfictionalpresent
    wevemanythingsforwhichtobethankfulbutoneofthosethingsisntclarity

    IvebeentothemountaintopandIvebeentotheshoreIvevisitedthebadlands
    andIveclungtothewhoreofmybabylonselfIvewanderedmanyurbangridsand
    IvestoodtoomanyvapidmallsIvesurvivedcubicleswarehousesbreakrooms
    andstallsIspentfortydaysandnightsinasolitarywildernessandIcameof
    ageinthesuburbanmistakewhereItooksevenminutesofheavenwithseveral
    breastedbirdsIvelistenedtotheclassicaltroveandtheundergroundcore
    IvechewnontheleavesofmastertreesandIvenibbledatthoseroughgrasses
    farthestafieldIvesleptwithmyfinestfriendandshehasstayedthecourse
    weliveextraordinarylivesweliveordinarylivesweliveunfathomedlives
    oursofttrustliesinamercifulendaquickdiminishmentourhardtrustlies
    inadefinitivestrugglesomesuddenblowtobehonedbybutprobabilitylies
    insteadinapedestriandrawnoutaffairtobeenduredlikedryrotweprayfor
    swiftagonybutwesuspectwellbegivendailylessonsinmiserywithnightly
    homeworkinsufferingexceptwhenthecooloblivionofsleepprovidesabalm
    wemustpayforthegoodlifesomehowwecantexpectafreepassintosomepress
    roomwherewemightbeallowedtoanswerapamperedhandfulofeasyquestions
    wewontbepardonedbyoursunsenergyweshantbeexoneratedbyaquirkoffate

    theykeeplearningtheyexpandunderstandingtowardallcornersofourcell
    butnomattertheirreachbeyondittheycantescapeittheycanttravelwhere
    theresnotravellingtheymustclaimlocalknowledgeovernaivewishmaking
    wedowhatwecantostayoutoftheirwayfortheirsakesandoursweredrifters
    theyredoersweremysticstheyrerealistsourcellsmoreowlthantesseract
    mytimetounshineasamindisnighthiseveningitllcomeasaflickofaswitch
    orthissummerorbeforefallsubmitstowinteritllcomeasswiftlyasbreath
    bybirthcomestoeveryoneitllcomeasthenecessarydarkeningofthesystem

    wordsarelostonusjustlikefoodthoughwemusteatthoughwemustspeakjust
    aswemustbreathejustaswemustbeforthetimebeingtheonusisonustoexist
    likeoceansexistlikeorchardsexistwithoutintellectualimpedimentour
    ferociousviscerasshuntingourmindsontospursourlivesledwithourguts
    notourfrettingswithourcoresnotourcerebrumsintuitionoverinduction
    oncetheoldergenerationisdeadtheyredeadthoughoneknowstheyreinones
    loinstheyretidalwomantomanmantowomanwomantowomanmantomantheyrush
    andretiretheybuildanderodeoncetheyregoneonesinnerseasroilonandon
    ImnotunsexedthoughImightwishmyharborstillImightwishmyjettyfreeof
    urgesunlessbynightandmoonlessbydaycontentwiththosearragementsour
    overlapisunderwhelmedyoucouldcheekmythrillIcouldtallyyoursailswe
    couldtacktowardthebroaderlomawecouldjibtowardthebluestgrottoours
    isourstoconjuredrytodampoursisourstoshapefromaridknobtobrinypier
    wecanmingleestuarytodeltawecanhurricaneourlittleislandintodebris

    ifascoronayouweretoswiftintoourcampsiteandliftouressenceawayfrom
    ourassailantourgrimconscienceourcollectivepursuancewewouldntknow
    howtothankourluckystarswewouldntbefluentinthenuancesofyouraction
    wewouldntunderstandwhetherbygravitywedbeenexoneratedorbylightwed
    beenappropriatedwhetherbythecreativeurgeorbythedestructivewillor
    whetherbyyourcompassionatefavororbyyourdutifullovewedbeenshifted
    fromoneunrealplanetoanotherorwhetherwedeservedanyofitsashstartto
    finishwedonlyknowoursituationhadbeenalteredevenifourmindsethadnt
    perhapsalteredbymassiveeffortorperhapsalteredbyyourminimamomenta

    everythingchangesandyetnothingchangesthatsjustawaytoviewtheworld
    youreowedsomethingyouhaventgotisanotheryoureflawedbutyoureflawed
    inauniquewayisanotheryoulleventuallycomeintoyourownisevenonemore
    whateveryourownperspectivalpoisonyoullceaseviewingtheworldoneday

    sheoutshineswhathascomebeforeasasunfloweroutshinesaroseasarising
    moonoutshinesatowncarnivalasabreakingwaveoutshinesabrokenthought
    shesmorethanwedeserveandlessthanwefearedandshesequaltoanytaskwed
    askofheranytaskexceptthatofcuringourheartsthoseoldmuscularorgans
    thatcantbecuredoftheircommonatrophysheisntamiracleworkershesjust
    areflectivemarvelshesthefirstredblushinanyappleshesthatlingering
    noteofuncertaintyafterthepianolidisshutshesmortalbutdoesntfretit
    hercharactercolorsareconsistentinsideandoutstraightorbentwhether
    wecurveherorfoldherwhethershesstiffanddistantornearandexpressive
    wecantencapsulatehershimmeringcottagewecantdouseherringofsmolder
    werenotworthybutsomeonehastobesufficientlyunworthyforherpurposes
    everybodyneedscollaboratorstovalidatetheirchosenrolesindifficult
    timesintedioustimesindiminishingtimeseveryoneofusneedsperipheral
    assistanceinourparallaxlivesweneedsomeonewatchingourunmadeflanks

    Like

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